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May 26

Friendship

What would we do without our friends?  They’re the ones we need, especially when we’re facing challenges – such as those of parenting or trying to manage a household, a marriage, perhaps a job.  A friend of mine recently hosted a dinner party dedicated to friendship; it was a lovely evening, and reminded each of us of the tremendous importance of friendship, and of recognizing the significant friends in each of our lives.  

 

How do you create more friendships in your life, or make time for the friends you have now?  Ask yourself a few questions:

  • What kind of friend time would give you the most satisfaction?  Think about what you most want, whether visiting with one friend, a group of friends, or getting together with other couples or families.  Your time is limited, so spend it on what you most enjoy.
  • Who are the people that make you feel happy and renewed?  Make the effort to keep in touch with them, no matter what else you have going on.  Maybe hosting a dinner party isn’t a good option for you right now, but you can always talk by phone or online, host an informal get-together or meet somewhere.
  • What about the kids?  Can you have quality time with friends if your kids are there?  This depends a lot on the temperament and ages of your children.  If you need a few non-kid moments, invite a friend over during naptime, or plan a night out when your spouse can watch the kids.
  • Are you waiting for someone else to call you?  Don’t.  Instead, you be the one to take the initiative.  Pick up the phone or extend an invitation, and get something on the calendar.
  • Do you need to connect with other moms?  This isn’t hard; moms groups (just Google your city and “Moms group”), MOPS groups, and Meetup groups for moms (and their kids) are abundant and easy to find, and you’re sure to find some new potential friends.
  • Don’t forget the friends from your days before motherhood.  These friends can reconnect you to a different part of your identity, and can help you get out of “Mommy mode” for a little while.  Sometimes the dynamic changes when you have a child and a friend doesn’t, but focus on what you still have in common and try not to talk too much about your children.

 

Through playgroups, preschool and park dates you may encounter lots of potential new friends, but finding the time to connect on a deeper level can be difficult, and reaching out to someone new can be scary.  Here’s the thing – the moms around you are probably in the same boat, and would probably love the opportunity to make a new friend.  Be brave and make the first move.

 

Your assignment:  Think about the friendships in your life, and how you could make a little more time for your friends… or for finding some new ones.  Build in some friend time this week.  Good luck!

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