Well, ok, we probably do – but getting the help we need may not be pleasant. Few things create battle lines between youngsters and parents more quickly than this particular topic.
So let’s get on with the chore, I mean task, at hand. Getting most children to do chores, at any age, is a challenge. When kids are little, parents have to do everything – this works well for the child, who would prefer that this arrangement never end. Around the age of 2 or 3, however, a child is old enough to start participating in household upkeep himself, and the sooner you involve a child in chores, the less resistance you’re likely to get.
Here are some things to ponder as you decide the who, what and when of chores:
What can your children realistically do?
For very young children, chores are more about “helping” you and being involved than about the chores themselves, but you can still find simple tasks for little ones to do. Many 2-year-olds can manage a small broom and dustpan, for example, or help you take clothes from the dryer and match socks. About.com has a good listing of age-appropriate chores.
What does everyone like to do?
If you have more than one child, try to divide up duties so everyone has a chance to do something they enjoy. Brushing or feeding pets is usually a desirable job, or maybe you have a child who loves dusting. If everyone gets at least one chore they like, you’ll hear less complaining.
How reasonable are your standards?
It can be easy to forget that “simple” (to us) tasks aren’t so easy when you’re little. Try not to correct constantly, but rather to offer occasional guidance and go back later, if you must, to re-do it yourself. If a child feels that her best attempt can’t make you happy, she’ll lose interest in helping at all.
How structured do you want to be?
Some parents monitor chores daily, some weekly, and some only when a particular task needs to be done. Many children enjoy some kind of chart, either to remind them what needs to be done or to be decorated with a sticker or star when chores are completed. There are many free downloadable charts online; click here for one site with several to choose from for varied ages and needs.
How much help do you really need?
If your children are in grade school (or above), and/or you’re working, help with chores may be a necessity. Look for areas where you especially need some extra hands, and start delegating.
To pay or not to pay?
That is a big question. You could argue that paying a child directly for chores takes away the intrinsic enjoyment and makes the tasks only about money, while others will tell you that paying a child reflects a good work ethic, teaching that one gets paid based on what one does. A chore chart can be a happy medium, offering an occasional reward for several days of completed chores, or a daily allotment of M&M’s if you’d prefer.
Is your husband on board?
Teaching kids about chores will be tremendously easier if you and your partner are on the same page with expectations and enforcement. This is one area where the kids need to see a united front, or everyone will end up unhappy.
Are you setting the right example?
If you want your kids to make their beds every day, be sure yours is made too. They’ll see chores as more of a regular and expected part of life when they see you regularly modeling whatever tasks you’re asking of them.
Your assignment: Look at your own chore situation. If you could use a bit more help, or if it’s just time to give your kids a little more to do, consider how you could add a new task or two into their routine.
