Do you have a dream? Not a kid-related dream (though of course you’d love for your toddler to be potty trained and for all your children to get along perfectly), but rather a dream just for you?
It’s sometimes tough in the midst of motherhood to see beyond the present moment at all. Days and even weeks can pass in a flurry of diapers, naps and playdates, and a mom’s busy schedule doesn’t leave you much time and energy to focus on dreams, but that doesn’t lessen their importance.
Having something to look forward to makes you a happier person and helps remind you of who you are on the inside, apart from all your other roles – mother, wife, friend and so forth.
If time, money and children were no obstacles, what would you love to have or do in your life? Here are some questions to get you thinking about some possible dreams:
· Where have you always wanted to travel (or return to)?
· What would you enjoy learning (a language, computer programming, how to fuse glass)?
· What career aspirations do you have for when your kids are older?
· What physical challenge might you want to undertake (climb a mountain, run a marathon, learn to ballroom dance)?
When you consider these questions, what stands out for you? Can you pinpoint one desire that calls to you more than the others?
When you come up with a new potential undertaking, beware of the voice of practicality in your head, which can cut your enthusiasm off at the pass. You might tell yourself that your dream costs too much, say, or is too difficult, or just doesn’t make sense. And while there may be some valid obstacles to overcome, what’s most likely to hold you back is simply an unjustified fear of change, of doing something different or reaching for an achievement that seems too far out of your grasp. This is why action of some kind is so important; knowing that you’re taking even tiny steps in the direction of your dream is what brings it into the realm of the possible.
Think about what one thing you could do to begin moving toward your dream. Suppose you’d love to run a marathon; you could talk to other moms that have done it, find out about how to train, or commit to waking up early one morning a week and jogging to begin getting in shape. Any of these are good initial goals. Or maybe you want to visit Paris. You could read books to learn about the city, talk to a travel agent, or start setting aside a little cash; if you saved only $10 a week, in 3 or 4 years you’d have enough money to take your trip.
The most important thing isn’t to know exactly how or when you’ll achieve your dream, but to have one at all. To have something that you’re working toward in some tiny way, even very slowly, even far out on the horizon, can give you fulfillment and deep personal satisfaction. In the midst of all the motherhood mayhem, it gives you something that’s all yours.
Your assignment: Spend a little time thinking about your own dream, if you already have one, or ask yourself questions to figure out what it might be. Once you have an idea, decide on one tiny step you can make in the direction of this dream. You may be surprised to find that it isn’t so far out of reach.
