Think over the last week in your household. How much time have you spent as a family? Are you satisfied with this? Is your husband? Your kids?
Spending time together as a family is important, but can be tricky. Here are a few challenges that may come up around family time:
Scheduling – For some families, if a time isn’t written on the calendar in ink, it doesn’t happen. Set aside blocks of time regularly, and schedule them in advance if you need to.
Individual preferences – Many stay-at-home moms want nothing more than some down time after being with children all day, and additional “family time” may feel unnecessary. For a working parent who hasn’t seen the kids since breakfast, however, time together with everyone may be a high priority. In this case, the working parent could schedule his own time to be with the children, while the mom gets a break and some time all to herself. It may be hard to get older children interested in family time at all, but planning activities away from home may help.
Family dynamics – If your children have trouble getting along, or if there’s a significant age gap between kids, family time may not work so well. Your best option may then be to split the kids between parents for separate time; you’re likely to come back together feeling better connected, and having had more fun separately than you would have had together.
Deciding what to do – Maybe your favorite thing is playing a game together, while your partner would rather take a family bike ride and the kids want to walk to the park. Trade off who picks the activity, and encourage everyone to be a good sport when their personal preference isn’t chosen.
Keeping it interesting – If you’ve gotten into a rut, look for ways to branch out. Explore the resources on this website, pick up a local family magazine (with a monthly calendar) or drive until you stumble on a new park. The novelty will make family time more special for all of you.
Unrealistic expectations – The ideal concept of “family time” is sometimes better than the reality. It’s great to create opportunities for togetherness, connection, fun and meaningful interaction, but the outcome may be different than what you’d hoped for. Give yourself a pat on the back for creating the time at all, not for the quality of each experience.
You never know where your fondest memories as a parent will come from, but creating more family time is a good way to allow special moments to happen.
Your assignment: Take a look at how you’re spending your family time and whether you have enough of it, and think about what changes you might want to make. Set aside time to try something new as a family or just to enjoy each other’s company, and see what happens.
