Each year, as I get out (and now put away) all my Christmas ornaments, I come upon one that my mother gave me several years ago, when my children were small. It’s a little “time capsule,” which captured a snapshot of my life at that time – and it always makes me laugh and cry.
The ornament is a little metal cylinder in the shape of a lantern, with a small piece of parchment inside. On the paper are questions that I answered about my past year (2000) and my hopes for the year to come (2001). My responses reflected the fact that I was right smack in the middle of mothering young children; of all the things I could have wished for, at the top of my list was for my 3-year-old son to become potty trained (which happened), and for my 3-month-old daughter to drink from a bottle (which didn’t, so I stayed in very close proximity that next year).
This little ornament always reminds me of some important lessons:
- Keep everything in perspective. Even though nursing and diapers really did seem like the most important things in the world, these concerns were so fleeting in the big scheme of things, and worked themselves out just like every other childrearing issue does. Whatever challenge is facing me right now, there’s a good chance that a few deep breaths and a bit more patience are good ways to address it.
- Make time for what really matters. Whatever non-kid challenges I faced when my children were little (keeping the house clean, running errands and so forth) have long since escaped me. But I cherish the memories of reading stories together, going to the park, building Thomas train sets with my son, playing with my infant daughter… and I wish I had made even more time for these precious interactions.
- Enjoy the moment. It’s absolutely clichéd, but I have to say it: the time when your children are small is so fleeting. You want to savor it as much as possible. It would have been nice if my daughter would have taken a bottle once in a while, but on the flip side nursing made me stop what I was doing and simply enjoy watching my baby for a little while. I’ll never have another “magic pill” that instantly fixes everything for my children the way nursing did; I miss that.
- Capture the moment. So many moms put off journaling (not to mention scrapbooking) because they don’t have time for anything elaborate. The thing is, you don’t need a lot of time. Writing a couple sentences to remind you of cute things your children said or did is all you need to capture a moment. Take pictures of your child’s unique wardrobe choices and get candid shots when your kids aren’t giving you their “cheese” smiles. Be sure to record their voices too; all too soon every word will be pronounced correctly, and the little person just learning to talk will be a distant memory.
- Capture your child’s moments. Every so often, when you talk to your kids about their day, write down the highlights they share – the art project they loved, the tall tower they proudly built. If they’re a little older, ask them what they remember from the past year. In my family we do this every December, and I’m always surprised at the memories that stand out for each child. They often mention special celebrations and holidays, but also things like meeting a new friend, a personal achievement, a special toy, a favorite movie. For me, having these yearly recollections is priceless.
Your assignment: As 2009 draws to a close, take a moment to capture this period of time in your life and the lives of your children. Whatever you want to remember, years from now, document it in some way. If your kids are old enough, ask them about their own memories – you might be surprised by what they tell you.
