No, this title is neither a misspelling nor an invitation to make a list of shortcomings; moms are good enough at being hard on themselves without added incentive. Instead, this is about a simple tool which can help you get back on track if you have a particular area of life that isn’t working so well right now: keeping a log of everything pertaining to the issue for a week.
Here are some common concerns that I’ve seen moms address using this technique:
· Food / diet / nutrition – Not long ago, a friend of mine kept a food log prior to meeting with a dietician, and was truly surprised to see how much more she ate, and how much less healthy it was, than she had thought.
· Time management – If you aren’t quite sure where each day goes, there’s no better way to address this than by keeping track. If you take a moment each half-hour to note what you’ve done during the previous 30 minutes, you’re likely to find that you’ve accomplished more than you thought (especially the mundane tasks, which are easy to overlook). This will also help you recognize the true toll that television, the computer and the phone take on your free time.
· Money – One client recently carried an envelope in her purse into which she deposited every receipt for every purchase she made, no matter how small, for a week. Suddenly she understood where all her cash went, and realized that budgeting and saving a bit more wouldn’t be as difficult as she had anticipated.
· Any behavior about which you wonder, “Do I really do _____ too much?” – Whether you’re trying to evaluate an aspect of parenting (such as yelling, being too lax about kids’ eating or sleeping patterns, etc) or of your own life, keeping track for a week can make a huge difference.
Why is this exercise so effective? Several reasons;
· A week is long enough to make an accurate assessment. Let’s be honest: if you’re writing down what you eat for a day, you’ll tend to adjust that day so that your choices are better than they would usually be. But a week is too long to be on “best behavior,” so this time frame will give you a clearer picture of where you really stand.
· Keeping track keeps you from forgetting. It’s easy to overlook small things, whether snacks, expenditures, or time spent on something silly; when you note each and every occurrence of something, it helps you see patterns you might otherwise miss.
· It’s easy to believe that you are doing what you would like to be doing, or what you intend to do. Having a record makes it easy to distinguish the actual from the wishful.
· Facts are objective. Once you’ve determined these, you can more easily see what is or isn’t working, and you can get someone else’s input as well; it’s harder to evaluate until you have the relevant facts.
· Writing things down, or keeping track in some way, is the first step toward improvement. The more aware you become of what you’re doing, the easier it is to make changes. Generally you’ll start making small changes during your week of keeping track, which will jump start your momentum.
This exercise may not be the most fun (maybe even a little annoying), but you might be surprised by how helpful it can be when you’re ready to address a particular behavior or habit. Good luck!
Your assignment: Pick one area of your life in which there’s room for improvement. Commit to writing down everything you do in relation to this area for one week (or as many days as you can). See what you notice as you look at patterns over the week, to decide which changes are most important to make.
