How many times do your kids drive you absolutely crazy in a given day? How many spills, muddy shoes, atomic diapers and barfing incidents do you have to clean up after, squabbles do you have to moderate, meals do you have to prepare, instructions do you have to repeat 47 times? Do you sometimes feel like the overwhelm of daily life will never end?
I went to a play last weekend called “Hats!”, the story of a woman coming to terms with her milestone 50th birthday. While she laments, older ladies (Red Hat Society members, hence the play’s name) recount their own life transitions, some humorous, some quite poignant. Even though the play is fictional and the characters are in a different stage of life than I am, some of the stories really hit home – especially those about having children grow up and leave.
Leave? My beautiful children won’t actually leave, will they? This is one of those basic truths that we know but can’t really comprehend. These precious little people with whom we spend hours upon hours of time, who fill our schedules with chores and activities, and who give us our most significant job will someday be gone from our homes. And this will likely happen sooner that we want, expect, or will be ready for.
Wallowing in sentimentality won’t help matters, but a healthy appreciation for the limited amount of time we really have with our children is important. How do you make the most of these irreplaceable years, especially when daily life gets either tedious or insanely busy?
- Set aside time for the good stuff – no matter what. The tasks you don’t get done are less important than the feeling that you’re connecting with your children in a meaningful way on a regular basis. You’ll never look back and wish you’d done a better job vacuuming and dusting.
- Make it a goal to hug your children (even older ones), tell them you love them, and laugh out loud with them every day. Having regular positive interactions with your kids will make the annoying parts of mothering a little less so.
- Remember to take care of yourself, so you don’t burn out. If you’re running on empty you’re likely to be irritable and generally unhappy, and you won’t have as much to offer to anyone.
- When you feel overwhelmed by all the mom duties, remind yourself that these really won’t last forever. Look at the big picture and realize that the extra work is a small price to pay for all the extra love and joy your children bring you.
It’s all temporary, both the good and the bad, the moments you wish would never end and the times that never seem to. This, too, SHALL pass – so do what you can to enjoy your children, create memories you’ll be happy to look back on, savor your good fortune to be a mom, and live in the moment as much as you can.
Your assignment: If you feel overwhelmed by the grind of daily life, and the difficulties of parenting, put yourself down the road ten or 15 years and recognize how completely your children’s lives will change by then. Find ways to focus on the parts of mothering you love most, and remember that the parts you don’t love will be gone sooner than you expect.
