Dec 23

The gift of letting go

Categories:

Personal Growth

You’ve probably spent a good amount of time this month finding the perfect gift for each person on your list, but often the best gift you can give yourself isn’t one from a store; it’s the gift of letting go of things in your life which no longer serve you. 

 

Here are just a few examples of what you might be better off without:

Negative or critical people – Unless you’re related to them, there’s no reason you have to keep people around who bring you down.  If the moms in a particular playgroup make you constantly question your parenting choices, say, or cause you to feel badly about yourself, or even if they just complain all the time, it may not be worth sticking around.  You can find another group for your child, where you’ll both enjoy being.

Things that make you feel bad – Those before-I-had-kids size 6 jeans may have been your favorites, but if you have no reasonable hope of getting back into them then get rid of them.  “Shoulds” make moms hang onto all sorts of things: clothes you think you should be able to fit into, needlework projects you should have time for, cookbooks with impossibly complicated recipes that you should be making for dinner.  These things not only aren’t being used, but cause you to feel bad every time you run across them.  They need to go!

Regrets – It’s easy to beat yourself up long after the fact for mistakes you made or choices you wish you had (or hadn’t) made, believing that this will help you avoid doing the same thing again.  Instead, trust yourself to have learned what you needed to learn, and look toward the choices you want to make next time.  You can’t change what you’ve done in the past, but you can make yourself miserable if you spend more time looking backward than forward.

Excess stuff – Over the years most people collect far more possessions than they need.  Are you good at getting rid of old things when new ones come in?  This sounds simple enough, but can actually be quite difficult, particularly when you haven’t cleaned or organized in a while.  People also hang onto things just in case a need arises for a particular item in the future.  The problem is that when you need the given item you may not be able to find it anyway, so it’s probably not worth taking up space in the meantime.

Unrealistic expectations – You’re setting yourself up to fail any time you declare “I’ll never ______ again” (yell at the kids, overeat, spend hours on Facebook, whatever your particular vice may be).  Instead, look at what behavior you’d rather do and focus on that – “I’m going to try and stay more calm” or “I’m going to eat healthier” for instance.  And here’s another expectation that many moms hold: “I can do it all.”  No, you can’t, and the sooner you accept this the happier you’ll be.  As long as you have children at home, your life involves constantly prioritizing and choosing what is and isn’t going to get done.  Give yourself permission to let go of what you simply don’t have time for.  

 

Each encumbrance from which you free yourself creates room for new and better things in your life – new people, new possibilities, a new chapter.  You deserve these things; allow yourself the means to welcome them in, by letting go of whatever is no longer serving you.

 

Your assignment:  Think about which people or things you may be ready to let go of in your life.  Whatever is bringing you down, try to leave it behind.  Find a handful of items to donate, rethink staying in a social situation that makes you unhappy, stop holding yourself to impossible standards, and be willing to forgive yourself for your perceived shortcomings.

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Dec 16

Manners or mayhem?

Categories:

Discipline, Parenting

Most of us have been there at some point. Right in the middle of opening presents or enjoying the big holiday feast your child yells out something mortifying; “This toy is ugly!”  “I hate getting clothes!”  “Grandma’s house always smells bad!”  “This is the worst food ever!”  If you’ve ever had this happen, you know just how embarrassing a child’s poor manners (or inability to think before speaking) can be.

 

If your child is at least preschool age, there are ways to reduce the odds of an inappropriate outburst:

 

  • Role play – I heard about one set of parents who “gave” their children various household items to treat as gifts, challenging them to come up with something nice to say about the most ordinary of things.  Examples: “This sponge is a nice shade of blue,” or “This spoon will really help me eat my cereal”.  The idea was that if the children could be creatively grateful for truly uninspired objects, they’d be much better equipped to handle real gifts that might otherwise elicit an unpleasant response.
  • Model it – Let your children see you graciously receive and open presents.  Explain to your kids that being nice about a present is important, even if they don’t like it.  Assure them that they can air their complaints later, to you, if they have an issue, but that being completely honest when opening gifts may sometimes hurt people’s feelings.
  • Practice a basic response – If nothing else, be sure your children know that simply saying “Thank you!” is an appropriate response when they receive any gift.
  • Be proactive, especially w/ meals – Prepare your child ahead of time if he tends to be a picky eater or if you know that a particular meal won’t be to his liking.  Decide if you want him to take a bite of everything, eat everything he’s served, or eat something different (that you provide) if you know that an unfamiliar meal will create more difficulties than you feel like dealing with.
  • Focus on what TO do – All your “don’ts” tend to put your child’s attention directly where you don’t want it to be; focus on what you DO want.  For instance, tell your kids “Sit nicely at the table and only say polite things about the food,” or “No matter what you think of your presents, smile and give each person a big hug.”

 

We frequently don’t think about issues of manners until it’s too late, but often a little preparation goes a long way toward avoiding embarrassing moments.  However, if your child still says or does something awful just remember that at least you’ll have a good story to share after the fact!

 

Your assignment:  Think about your upcoming celebrations, and what you might do to instill good manners in your children and avoid having them say something they shouldn’t.  Help them work through what to say and do, to make your holiday nicer for everyone.

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Dec 09

What have you done for YOU lately?

Categories:

Self-care

“Oh sure,” you said as you read the title; “there’s not enough time for everything I already need to get done.  I’m supposed to add more to my list?”  Well, yes, you are.

 

December is the busiest month of the year for many, but that’s not a reason to put your self-care on hold.  In fact, there’s no better time to give yourself a little extra TLC.  This month often becomes about doing umpteen tasks on an endless to-do list; putting yourself and your own needs somewhere on this list can make the difference between enjoying the season and starting to feel like a martyr.

 

Think about it.  Right about now, aren’t you spending extra time to make everyone else feel special?  You’re probably buying lots of gifts, maybe taking on a service project here or there, mailing cards and packages, all for the sake of letting others know how much they mean to you.  Moms do so much for so many people, especially this time of year.  Look for ways to extend this kindness to yourself too:

 

  • Think small – even if large indulgences are out, there are lots of little things you can do for yourself.  Put your feet up and sip hot cocoa with a favorite book for a few minutes.  Pick up some fresh flowers to adorn your home, light a candle or a fire, turn on music you love.  Whatever makes you smile, make it happen. 
  • Think quick – what friends have you been wanting to see?  Social time is a wonderful gift to give yourself, and even with the busiest schedule you can fit in half an hour for coffee or an hour for lunch.
  • Prioritize – with everything you have to do, a few things are bound to slip through the cracks, but somehow the most important tasks manage to get done. Be sure that self-care is high enough on the list to make the cut.
  • Stay in shape – exercise may not be your favorite, but for stress relief (and to offset some of the holiday goodies) it’s extremely important.  Don’t tell yourself there isn’t time; exercise usually gives you more energy, so you get more done, and you sleep better too.  Besides – admit it – you always feel great afterward.
  • Remember the basics – getting enough sleep and eating well aren’t especially exciting, but they’ll keep you feeling better overall, and help you resist all the flu bugs going around.

 

The more you keep yourself healthy and happy the more stamina you’ll have, and the better able you’ll be to tackle everything you still have on that to-do list.  This is the season of giving – be sure you’re giving enough to YOU.

 

Your assignment:  Think of one nice thing you can do for yourself this week (or better yet today) and make it happen.  Set aside the time you need for self-care, call the friend you’ve been meaning to get ahold of, or just allow yourself some down time, even if only a little.  Good luck!

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Dec 02

Happier Holidays

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Uncategorized

The phrase “Happy Holidays” is a common greeting in December, but it doesn’t describe the mindset of a lot of moms.  If you’re overwhelmed right now, with a general sense of anxiety about time, a long to-do list, tons of activities and getting everything done, “happy” may not be among the words that best sum up your feelings.

 

There are, however, some simple ways to make this time of year more enjoyable.

  • Do what you have to.  Make a list (and check it twice) of everything that must be done – the gifts to buy, packages to wrap or mail, baking to do, lights to hang – whatever tasks that for you are non-negotiable.  Try to figure out a rough timetable for each item, so you don’t end up with a pile of critical jobs still facing you at the eleventh hour.
  • But don’t try to do it all.  What can you delegate?  What can you take a shortcut on or skip altogether?  There’s no rule saying you have to bake the cookies that take you four hours.  Moms are known to make themselves absolutely crazy with self-imposed “shoulds” that are completely unrealistic with small children at home.  If you really don’t want to pull out every single box of decorations this year, no one besides you will know; give yourself a break if you need a little less on your plate.
  • Think about what traditions you want to begin or continue with your children.  Opportunities abound for good times and memory making.  Even if money is tight, there’s lots of free fun to be had.  Many neighborhoods have spectacular light displays that are sure to entertain everyone (among them Dovewood Court in Orangevale).  Or keep things closer to home and spend an evening stringing popcorn for the tree or reading every holiday story you have in the house.
  • But once again, moderation is key.  There comes a point where one more craft, outing, celebration, party or visit to Santa is simply one too many.  Each activity is fun, but focus on a few that you can truly enjoy rather than trying to cram every holiday offering into your already busy schedule.  You’re setting yourself up for failure (and your youngsters for meltdowns) if you try to do it all.
  • Get everyone’s input.  Pick a handful of activities that sound fun to you, and let each child pick one that they’d like to do.  Ask your husband what his favorite tradition from childhood was, and incorporate this.  Think about what memories you most want to have from this month, and make time to create these.

 

When January rolls around, the most important thing won’t be recalling how many places you took your kids, or how many activities you all did.  Instead, what you’ll want to remember is a month of having fun together, of joy rather than anxiety, of less rushing around and more focusing on the special times.  Make this a month for Happy Holidays!

 

Your assignment:  Look at the month ahead and think about what you want to do – and to skip – to make the season enjoyable and manageable for your family.  Choose a few activities for you and your children, and figure out when to make these happen.  Make time for what matters most, and give yourself permission to bypass those things that are more stressful than enjoyable. 

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Nov 24

Giving thanks… every day

Categories:

Personal Growth

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, this is the perfect time to focus on giving thanks in our own lives.  Many families go around the Thanksgiving table and share what each person is thankful for, but what happens on all the other days of the year?  The more you can regularly appreciate everything there is to be grateful for – not just on Thanksgiving – the better life often seems; giving thanks shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.

 

Here are some easy ways to incorporate a more thankful attitude on an ongoing basis:

  • Make it a habit.  Each day, in some way, think about what you’re thankful for.  Some moms have a journal solely for this purpose, in which they list 3 or 4 “thankful for” items every evening before bed.  Others simply take a minute or two to construct a mental list.  How or if you keep track of this list is less important than just creating it to begin with.  If you have a daily time of prayer or meditation, this is an ideal place to include “thankful” time.
  • Challenge yourself to reframe whatever is bothering you.  This isn’t always easy, but if you can look at the areas of life that cause you the most irritation and find within them a silver lining, this can sometimes neutralize the negative impact.  Perhaps your baby won’t sleep more than two hours without waking to be nursed; at least this gives you the opportunity to hold her and bond with her (even if you’re tired).  Or your three-year-old refuses to potty train; while you may be tired of diapers, changing time does offer the chance to laugh and interact.  You get the idea.
  • Bring your family on board.  Start a new routine of having each person say what they’re thankful for each night at dinner, or exchange this information with your spouse at some point during the day.  When others are involved, it’s easier to keep the practice going.
  • Remember the small things.  If you have trouble thinking of things to be thankful for, you’re probably not directing enough attention to the little things.  Did your child give you an unsolicited hug this morning?  Did you hear a song on the radio today that made you want to dance?  Are you having a good hair day?  All these things make life a little nicer; don’t overlook them.
  • Spread the wealth.  Send a quick note to a friend to let her know how glad you are to have her.  Be sure your children hear you say “thank you” on a regular basis, so they learn to model this behavior.  Tell them what you’re thankful for, and encourage them to do the same.  Gratitude grows as it’s shared with others.

 

Taking time to focus on what you appreciate is a simple way to add more joy to your life, and to your children’s.  Gratitude is a choice you make and an attitude you can adopt, whatever your circumstances.  Let “Thanksgiving” be an ongoing mindset.   

 

Your assignment:  Look for ways to focus more on gratitude, to incorporate being grateful into your daily life, and to teach your children the importance of being thankful.  Do one thing this week to share your gratitude with those around you.  Happy Thanksgiving!

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Nov 18

Inner You vs. Outer You

Categories:

Personal Growth

Do you sometimes feel like you have a split personality?  If you’re like a lot of moms, who you are on the inside may not match who you are on the outside, and who you know yourself to be may not be the person you want to show the world.  Reconciling the inner you and the outer you can be a challenge, because there are aspects of life that are hard to admit or share.

 

Here are some common examples of the inner vs. outer differences, and ideas for finding a happy medium:

 

Who you see: a woman who needs help, with too many balls in the air.  Everyone wants your time, you feel responsible for too many things (and people!), and it’s overwhelming.

Who you want the world to see: a woman who has it all together, who’s endlessly capable, and who can manage whatever ends up on her plate.

To find a happy medium: give yourself permission to ask for help.  Often help is there if we look for it, but until we admit that we can’t do everything we aren’t in a position to have anyone else lend a hand.  See last week’s blog; try to determine what’s most important among your responsibilities, so you can focus on what truly matters to you. You can either delegate the rest or simply set it aside for the time being.

 

Who you see: a mom who sometimes gets frustrated, raises her voice more often than she’d like, and doesn’t have nearly enough answers to all the parenting conundrums that show up in life.

Who you want the world to see: a mom with endless patience, who knows what she’s doing and is comfortable with all her parenting choices.

To find a happy medium: recognize that you’re only human, and that none of us have all the answers.  There’s no set manual for mothering, everyone has to learn as they go, and anyone who’s going to judge you for losing your cool or for how you handle a situation may not be someone you want in your life (or, at the very least, someone whose opinion should matter).

 

Who you see: a person strapped for cash.

Who you want the world to see: a person with plenty of money, who doesn’t worry about every nickel and dime.

To find a happy medium: remember that this is a tough time for a lot of families, and no one wants to admit how difficult it is to have money issues.  Bring your own travel mug of coffee to playgroups instead of the $5 Starbucks latte, and don’t be afraid to bring brown bag lunches to the park; the food you make at home will probably be healthier anyway.

 

Who you see: a wife whose relationship is way on the back burner, with children who get most of your time and energy.

Who you want the world to see: a vibrant, sexy woman with a marriage full of passion and free from strife.

To find a happy medium: rest assured that most moms of infants and toddlers share your situation.  When you’re raising young children, you may not feel like there’s much left of yourself for anyone else.  This doesn’t diminish the importance of your relationship, however, and it is important to set aside kid-free time to focus on each other, talk about things that have nothing to do with children, and reconnect.

 

The common thread throughout these scenarios is embarrassment at being less than perfect, or at being in a challenging situation.  It’s hard to admit when things are difficult in any part of your life, but once you open that dialog you’ll often find that your fellow moms understand exactly what you’re going through.  It takes trust, courage and the right friends to be honest about your struggles, yet the support you stand to gain – and the affirmation that you really aren’t alone – can be priceless.

 

Your assignment:  Look at your life right now and see where the inner you is most different from the outer you that the world sees.  How can you begin to reconcile this, or give yourself the gift of sharing more of yourself with others who can understand and support you?  It can be uncomfortable to open up, but you’ll probably find that many of the moms around you are in similar situations.  Good luck!

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Nov 11

Just say NO!

Categories:

Self-care

With the holidays drawing near, this is an especially good time of year to remember the little word that can keep you from getting completely overwhelmed:  NO!  As a mom, you already have a lot on your plate, and you can get in trouble when you start feeling the need to say yes to every request that comes along.

 

Why are moms so quick to say yes, even when this is the last thing you want to do?  Here are a few common reasons, along with ideas for deciding whether “yes” is really the answer you want to give.

Friendship – Your friend Jane calls and wants you to babysit.  You say yes because friends help each other, and you consider yourself a good friend.

BUT is this the third time in the last week that she’s asked you to watch her kids?  If you feel like she’s taking advantage of your willingness to lend a hand, and you haven’t had enough time with your own kids, it’s ok to decline.  Being a good friend doesn’t mean overextending yourself; taking time for yourself or your own family is a legitimate reason to say no.

 

Wanting to be liked / to fit in – You get invited to a cookie exchange by another mom in a playgroup you’ve joined; you’re on a strict diet and you don’t even like to bake.  You say yes because you don’t want to miss an opportunity to get to know the other moms better, and you’re happy to simply receive the invitation.

BUT do you really want to be there?  If not, there will be plenty of other opportunities to spend time with the other moms; give yourself permission to say no.  If you do want to go, nothing says you have to participate in the cookie exchange; you could let the hostess know your situation, or you could buy some yummy-looking cookies from a bakery and put them on a nice plate, and no one will be the wiser.  There’s no reason to create unnecessary work for yourself.

 

Appearances – One of the moms at preschool asks you to call every parent in the class to help gather prizes for a school fundraiser.  You say yes because you don’t want to look as though you don’t care or aren’t willing to help.

BUT are you comfortable doing this?  Do you really have the time to make 30 calls?  If not, decide what you can do (“I don’t have enough time for thirty calls, but I can make ten”) or how much time you can devote (“I’m really no good with phone calls, but I can give you an hour on Tuesday to help wrap prize baskets”), and let that be enough.

 

Obligation – You’ve been looking forward to a quiet Thanksgiving with your immediate family and your best friend, but your in-laws call to invite you over to their home.  You say yes because you don’t want to disappoint anyone, and you feel obligated to make your husband’s family happy.

BUT is there give and take?  Are you able to have some holidays with your own family, or at home?  As long as there’s a balance it’s ok to be accommodating, but if you feel like you’re always missing out on celebrations that would be most meaningful to you then it may be time for a conversation with your husband.

 

Guilt – This is the biggest reason moms say yes when they don’t want to.  Whether to make up for a perceived shortcoming, keep someone happy, or fulfill some nebulous “should,” you say yes because you convince yourself that you have to put someone else’s needs ahead of your own.

BUT is it justified?  Sometimes, sometimes not; if you haven’t sat down to play with your child in three days and she asks you to stop what you’re doing and read a story, this is probably a request to honor.  If your child, with a sad face and whiny voice, tells you that “You never do anything fun with me!” only two days after your trip to the zoo and the park, you’re allowed to let the comment go unheeded… with NO guilt. 

 

Motherhood is a balancing act, and often the people around you (especially the little ones) have needs that come before everything else, but these don’t erase your own needs.  Your time, energy and resources are limited, and sometimes the best way to take care of yourself is to give yourself the gift of a well-timed “NO” so that you can say “YES” to something that matters more… even if that something else is simply a little nap or an afternoon off!

 

Your assignment:  Look at the things you’re saying “yes” to right now – are they all worth your time and attention?  Are there areas where you would benefit from saying “no” a bit more?  Challenge yourself to find one activity, obligation or duty to which you can give yourself permission to say “no” this week, so you can free up a little time for things that are more important to you.

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Nov 04

Good night, sleep right!

Categories:

Parenting

It’s hard to believe something as basic as sleep could be so confusing and even controversial for moms.  You worry about helping babies develop healthy sleeping habits and the ability to get themselves to sleep.  With older children, there’s the very real concern that they probably aren’t getting enough sleep.  And for many moms, the bedtime routine itself can be a source of stress.

 

Here are some common questions and concerns, with ideas and resources you may find helpful:

How much sleep does my child need?  Needs vary greatly from child to child, so behavior and signs of tiredness are your best indicator.  On average, a typical newborn will sleep about 16 hours a day.  This decreases to 13 hours for the average 2-year-old, and 10-11 hours per night for a child in grade school.  For more specifics, click here. 

 

What’s the best way to put my child to bed?  Should I let my child cry himself to sleep?   This is a loaded issue, and many parents on both sides of the debate feel very strongly about it.  Until a child is at least six months old, you should respond to him when he cries.  He’s too young for “sleep training” and needs the security of having you respond to him right away.  After this, if a child isn’t sleeping well, parents either implement some form of the “cry it out” system, or choose a more child-centered approach to bedtime.  To learn the methods espoused by the leading doctor on each side of the debate, read the article Dr. Ferber vs. Dr. Sears.  For pros and cons of a crib vs. co-sleeping (another hot controversy), click here. 

 

What can I do to make bedtime easier?  Consistency is key.  The more predictable the child’s routine, the easier it will be for all of you.  If you sometimes read one story to your child and put her to bed at 7pm, then other times agree to five stories and an 8:30 bedtime, you may be setting yourself up for trouble.  Quiet activities, low lighting and a “winding down” period will help set the right tone.

 

How can I help my child sleep better?  Some babies sleep better with white noise in the background, reminding them of sounds from the womb.  Toddlers will sleep better when they aren’t overly tired; a nap can actually help in this regard.  A child who gets too tired may get her second wind (adrenaline surge) and then have difficulty getting to sleep at all.  For older children, try to avoid electronics at bedtime.  Having a tv in the bedroom will typically cause children to get half an hour less sleep per night than if they have no electronic distractions; over a week’s time, this adds up to a significant amount of sleep.

 

How can I tell if my child is getting enough sleep?   If he wakes up on his own in the morning, generally stays awake during car rides, maintains a consistent mood throughout the day, then falls asleep easily at night, he’s probably in good shape.  If you have to get him up, and you notice that he gets more moody, over-emotional and irritable as the day progresses, he probably needs more sleep than he’s getting.

 

Does sleep really matter that much?  Yes. Getting enough sleep helps everything from a child’s attention span to her ability to maintain a healthy weight, not to mention the part sleep plays in disposition and social relationships.  One recent study found that 25% of high school kids reported falling asleep in class on occasion, and these were the kids who also felt too tired to exercise.  Another study of primary school teachers revealed that almost 10% of K-4th grade children were falling asleep in school.  These numbers indicate a serious need for a better night’s sleep.

 

Your assignment:  Observe your children’s sleeping patterns, and their daily behavior relating to sleep.  Are they getting enough sleep?  If not, look for ways to make bedtimes earlier (and easier) and to help kids wind down at the end of the day.  Remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but finding ways to help your children sleep better – and enough – is very important.

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Oct 28

Candy, candy everywhere!

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Uncategorized

Ok moms: besides costumes, what’s the first thing you associate with Halloween?  Very likely, candy. 

 

You may already have children grazing on candy intended for Halloween, and by November 1 you’re likely to be overflowing with acquired trick-or-treat goodies.  It’s hard to keep sugar in check when your house is overflowing with all the candy; what’s a health-conscious mom to do?

 

Most fall into one of three schools of thought:

 

Ignore it and it will go away (the candy, that is) – and it will, especially with lots of people helping… possibly in a matter of hours, usually over a period of days.  If you aren’t worried about candy intake, or aren’t prone to excessive snacking yourself, this is fine.  To keep things from getting too out of hand, you can always limit the number of houses you visit during trick-or-treating to begin with, so there isn’t such an overflow of sweets to tempt everyone.

 

Moderation in all things (the make-it-last approach) – you simply limit candy to a small amount per day.  This is great if everyone has lots of will power, or if your children are young enough for you to be in charge of doling out all the treats.  You may still have candy left well into December, but you get to enjoy it over a long period of time and you won’t have children feeling ill from eating two dozen of their favorite miniature size chocolate bars all at once.

 

Eat now or forever hold your piece (the use-it-or-lose-it plan) – there are several variations on this, but the common theme is that candy goes away very shortly after Halloween.  Moms have many inventive ways of making this happen:

  • Picking favorites – have your kids choose a dozen of their absolute favorite goodies, and toss the rest
  • The Great Pumpkin – this concept is similar to the Tooth Fairy.  You leave your candy in a big pile outside the back door (or wherever) and in the morning it’s been replaced by a toy or a dollar or two.
  • Cash for Candy – you can do this outright, and simply make a deal with your kids (offering $5 for the entire bag, perhaps), or go to a place that will actually give you cash for your treats.  Lyons Orthodontics in El Dorado Hills and Citrus Heights and select locations of A+ Personalized Dental Care  in Roseville and Lincoln, among others, will give you $1/lb for candy, then send the candy on to troops overseas.
  • The looming deadine – simply tell the kids that on Monday all the candy will be tossed, sent to the office, or otherwise disposed of.  Then run and hide (perhaps taking a Milky Way bar with you).

 

Your assignment:  Decide what you want to do – if anything! – about the Halloween candy that will soon fill your home.  If you plan to limit candy, think about how to do this as easily as possible, and be sure your kids know what to expect so there aren’t any terrible surprises.

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Oct 21

FOOD for thought

Categories:

Health, Nutrition

This is not the easiest season to think about healthy food choices.  The span from mid-October through December is loaded with sweets and treats of all kinds, lots of extra calories and an abundance of opportunities to overeat.

 

Looking at this a different way, however, there couldn’t be a better time to focus on making nutritional choices that are good for you and your family.  There are always reasons, justifications and rationalizations for eating poorly, and “the time of year” is high on this list; here are some ways to address this and other common obstacles to better eating:

 

  • It’s too hard this time of year.  There does seem to be a greater abundance of food now than at other times, but there’s never a perfect time to make changes.  If you want to have five servings of every dish at Thanksgiving, or eat a pound of Halloween candy, you still can – but why not make healthier choices the rest of the time?
  • I don’t have time for reading labels.  You don’t have to spend a lot of time, because there are just a few key things to look for – trans fats, hydrogenated fats, and/or lots of ingredients you can’t pronounce.  Over time, trans fats double a woman’s risk of heart disease, and a recent University of Maryland study found evidence of high cholesterol and blood fats in children as young as eight years old.  The less processed food in your diet, the better.
  • I know I should buy more organic food, but it’s really expensive.  It can be, but some food is more important to buy organic than others.  For a list of fruits and veggies that generally have higher concentrations of pesticides, click here. 
  •  My kids want the food they see advertised on TV, just like all their friends eat.  Start explaining to your children at a young age why good nutrition is so important, and model healthy choices yourself.  Your kids don’t have to forego all the food they love, but moderation is important.  Pretzels, nuts and popcorn are better than most “junk food,” and kids often like these.
  • I don’t have time to cook; fast food is easy and quick.  Yes, but most of it is loaded with fat, calories and little nutritional value, especially if the food is fried.  If you need to grab something on the fly, a sandwich shop (Subway, Quiznos, etc.) is often a healthier bet.  Some moms keep frozen dinners on hand; these cost less than going out, can be heated up quickly, and give you better nutritional options than standard fast food fare.
  • I’m not ready to make drastic changes.  Nor do you have to. An “all or nothing” approach to healthy eating is unlikely to work for most families; look for small changes that are sustainable over time.  For instance, if you did nothing more than cut out one can of soda a day (or 12 oz. of fruit juice, which has the same amount of sugar), you’d save yourself… are you ready?… almost 55,000 calories a year (reducing your weight by15 pounds, all else being equal).
  • My kids don’t like to drink water.  Once they’re used to lots of sweetened beverages, this can be a challenge.  Young children who are just beginning to drink from a bottle or sippy cup, however, are usually happy to drink water, but parents don’t offer it, thinking that some other choice will be more to the child’s liking.
  • If I’m only going to do one thing, what really matters?  Aim to offer your family a balanced overall diet, whenever possible, with lots of fruits and vegetables and only limited sugar and fat.  This won’t always happen, but if unhealthy meals are the exception rather than the rule then you’re heading in the right direction.

 

Eating healthier can feel daunting, but remember that every single step you make toward a healthier diet for your family will make a big difference over time.

 

Your assignment:  Pick one thing you can do this week to improve your family’s diet in some small way.  Look at labels a little more carefully, buy healthier snacks, look into organic options, or just try to drink more water.  Every change matters!

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